♥R-ACH

爱

2012-02-05T10:28:00.005+08:00

也许昨天的我把所有的心痛都放了，今天真的好很多。

突然认为我自己很奇怪，

明明不是一个可以忍受挨骂和唠叨的人，最近都能做到。。。

可能也许因为是他吧，让我自己不知不觉地会想要让步，不想与他吵。

昨天已经成了过去，我也不想再提起了。

也许我对自己的期望太高，一直以为自己不会在意他的话，

所以一直在忍着并且压抑着自己的情感，结果。。。

发现自己是很在意的，只是不愿意去让自己受伤，

也只想让自己微笑地让所有的事就此一笔勾销，不再让他难过。

但是事情总是那么的不顺，我越忍着，他说越多，

直到了双方都累了，我哭了，也想就此把话题支开已结束的时候，

这才让他安静了`，他也哭了，两人自己也心痛了。

而我们却因为想要结束这话题而采取不一样的方法。

他，是需要以先沟通后冷静来解决；

我，是需要以先安静的把事想清楚与冷静后再来以沟通来解决。

两种看似相同的方法和结局，但却是完全不一样的方式，

永远都让我们左右为难，因为，我们都是固执的人，

都不肯放弃自己的信念与坚持，结果，又吵架了，与心痛了。

他，

是个小心翼翼的人，是个让我无法绞架的人,

是个固执但会让步给我的人，

在我最需要时，他都会在我身边的人，

在我烦恼时，会听我诉苦，并且提供我意见的人（虽然我只要他听就够了）。

而我，

是个粗心大意的人，常常忘东忘西。

是个固执而且不会对自己亲人让步的人，

在他最需要时，我都会在他身边的人，

在他烦恼时，一心只想让他开心而宁可忘了自己感受的人。

（虽然很多时候我真的想放弃让你开心了了）

我们，

虽然有许多天地之差的不同，

但也有让我们如此相爱的理由。

也因为如此，让我对你已经有了超越爱情的感觉，

也会不由自主地因为你而开心，心动，伤心，心痛，懊恼。

也只想一辈子和你走下去，直到有天我们都老去。

爱你，小猪猪。<3 （'(00)')

First day in HongKong.

2011-12-23T21:15:00.008+08:00

Hmm, time for updates... and yeah. I've reach HongKong. Without following any tour guide, I took buses and trains. Hmm, shall let the pictures do the talking. (: Photos not in order though :P

Reached there around in the morning 5.30am and that's the first bus we took to the hotel.

I looked damm cui due to insufficient sleep :X

In the cable car! :D Omg, super excited yet scary!
MTR ticket (Train ticket). Hmm, cool in there. Really nice! :D

Cable car ticket! :D Longest ride ever.

Streets in HK.

3 girls happy with their Starbucks! :D

Successfully climbed up 250 steps of stairs! ^^

family(:

Chain that I bought, pink grapes! I wonder if there's a meaning to it.

Sweet! :D

The hotel room, toilet and scenery! Idk why i take those too, but it's really nice.

I had fun! really~

& I miss you):

Signing off,

Rachel

2011-12-23T21:15:00.001+08:00

@ Hong Kong now! :D

Hay-wired

2011-12-15T23:16:00.003+08:00

I'm totally lost for words.

I don't know what to do now to make the situation better.
I don't know what I can say now to make everything better.
I don't know what I should feel now also.
I don't know which part I did wrong.
I don't know which method I can use to make you stop trying to say I'm talking back to you.
I don't know what I should say so that it wouldn't appear like it's quarrelling to you.
I don't know what I can do then it's the best for us.

But...
I do know you're disappointed.
I do know you're lost for words because whenever I try to explain, it always sounded like I'm talking back to you.
I do know how you're feeling now.
I do know that you're trying your best to help me.

Though baby, I want you to know that,
I can feel how you're feeling, just that I'm trying hard to pretend I'm not, so that I won't say words that's hurting.
I understand everything, just that I don't want people to change me, I'm afraid I'll become like another person.
I'm like lost now, not knowing what I can do.
I'm rejecting your help, not just because I want to depend on myself and afraid you get disappointed again, but also, I don't want to be upset because I failed to do it.

&lastly, I will always love you no matter what.
(Argh, I feel like crying alr) )':
Signing off,
Rachel

2011-11-29T15:41:00.001+08:00

Been thinking today and Not sure why but I know I'm happy w him thats enough;)

Hmm, had fever ah, guess that it's making my brain stop working for a bit. ;P but it's kinda nice though. ^^

Esp when i have my family and boyfriend to care for me... It really feels nice and guess what, I was a lil too touched the other night that I nearly cried and..... I was afraid that I'll take this for granted and lose them one day. See! Think too much alr. <3

Signing off,
Rachel

Sometimes I think I tried too hard in every ways.

今天，脑累了

2011-11-17T14:18:00.001+08:00

Hmm, finally back to update blog. ;)

Everything's great and i'm happy.

But idk what's happening to me today. Too tired, maybe? Too much stress, maybe? Or what. But I'm certain it's not pms ah!;) Just a lil weird ah me today, rawrrrrrrrr.

Probably I should not explain myself too much but rather just keep quiet and say it okay for everything. Don't like the way I'm now, complains and being irritated. Never mind...... Maybe I should just keep quiet so I won't make anyone unhappy.

Signing off,
Rachel

Love

2011-10-24T19:24:00.001+08:00

<3 221011

Yup, official together.

Realize that everytime I get into a r/s w a person, I would hear alot of objections. This time too, but they respect my decision though. ;)

Signing off
Rachel

;)

2011-10-19T20:41:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but I felt lost today.
Thought I've made my decision but yet I don't know why I'm afraid too.

Yes or No?

2011-10-16T11:28:00.003+08:00

I'm back finally after 3 weeks to blog. (: Let's not just talk about today but the whole month of stuff.

Attachment have finally ended and I'm like phew! Just came back from Malaysia study trip too. (: Anyway, my attachment was a fun one and I experienced different things there. I must say that there's nothing much we could do other than taking parameters, entertaining the kids and making milk? But at least we can help the nurses uh! :P It's not only those, I've seen how these abused kids is regarding their psychological feelings and that makes me feels lucky; at least I wasn't treated that way while growing up. Best wishes for them though. Aww manxzs, I'm missing them alr. ):

As for the Malaysia trip..... Hmm. There's conflicts, misunderstanding and some irritating moments too. But not forgetting those times where we do have fun in those drinks, pillow fight and more! :P & out of these 5 days, I love the first day more! :D Guys came in to attack the girls with our pillows in the afternoon and the girls attacked back at night! [: Hoho! It was fun in a way~ But day 2 is the one with many problems. Pretty confidential and I lost my sleep to take care of a person. It's what I wanted though. I can't leave someone feeling sick down there and I sleep. Guess it's just not the kind of person I am. Can't really remember the third and fourth night cause nothing much happen and back in singapore on the fifth day. Conflicts part... Hais. Nearly quarrel with my own friend because I don't like to be controlled? Plus I'm the kind where I speak what I feel so it's even worse when I tried to endure the feeling. It's not only that, Someone say I called her a bitch when I didn't. Not nice to assume eh! =.= But never mind, I guess it's just all over.

School starting on Monday and time to face the facts! Omg. 2.1! Jiayou! [:

As for my personal things part, I shall leave it alone for now. The feelings is a lil there, but I can't be sure if I really wanted this. I know exactly how the other party feels but also I didn't want a guy to date me because he was feeling empty. Probably that's because I'm not someone who is able to give him the feelings he wanted. I may be able to listen to people's problems and give advices but I'm not someone who is able to ____________ in another person. Or probably, I wish for more time for us to really know if I'm suitable for him. Don't wanna to cause another heart break anymore.

That's it for now.

Signing off,

Rachel

2011-09-24T11:22:00.002+08:00

The sunflower I drew for the ward

it's been like 123456789X days since I have updated my blog. Had attachment, & it was the best attachment I ever had. (:

The 2 paragraphs below are my reflections:

Ever since my attachment in IMH started, I was quite fascinated by the way the ward was presented. It looked different from what I had imagined. The practices are different from general hospital too. Throughout these few days, I have seen the things that happened in the ward and understand the practices. The way they serve the medication is by calling names one by one and with nurses inside the nurses counter serving the medication. For their breakfast, lunch or dinner, they tend to give people who are bed bound first, then to people who are weak and lastly to people who are stronger and are able to walk. Even during shower in the morning, they do that. And after eating, they are able to clear up everything by themselves and clean the area before leaving the place. This is something people are not able to see in the general ward. I have also looked through the psychotic drugs in the medication area and seen the many types of drugs they had. I realized every patient has at least 2 drugs and all these drugs have a lot of side effects which will affect the patient such as tremors. Personally, I have also chatted with the patients there. Basically, the patients there are nice people but because of their stories and background, they had mental disorder such as schizophrenia. I feel that even though there is not a lot of things we could help the patients, but at least there’s something we can do to help the nurses and make the patients happy by joining them in activities. Lastly, the patients and hospital have made me more courageous to deal and care for these mental patients in the future in general ward. In conclusion, this posting allows me to see things in a better and happy way as these patients are seen to be happy even though they know they are sick.

Hahahah, got to prepare for my KK attachment, hoping it'll be a good one! (:

Signing off,
Rachel

Maybe I'm just too weird.

2011-09-10T09:39:00.001+08:00

Written on 090911;)

Boo! Back from bugis street. Hahahah. And it's like 12.36am, so I'm sleeping soon!;) so I'm only doing a short update

Hahahhaah. Just feel like ranting. But idk what to say. ;P

Signingg off,
Rachel

Decisions.

2011-09-07T09:46:00.001+08:00

Hello. Back to blogging since I'm bored. Having lunch w my Sis and cousins later before Brian goes army. Hahahhahahaha!

Anyway, I felt so bad for not being a good friend for them. For the chalet, i know that not many people are allowed to stay overnight for it. So... Though I still want everyone to stay but I have to choose 1 group of my friends not to stay overnights. That's my class people. I actually wanted the redliners to stay badly. Probably, it's because I felt the distance I have w my class people too. The Actual reason why I chose them are unknown but I guess I went based on my feelings. So I'm really sorry. Though they will be like over 10 plus staying too. O.o or is it I wanted him to stay badly. HAIS. I also don't know. I don't like to make a choice like this too. I just hope they don't blame me for my selfishness or anything. Because..... (Nvm, no use explaining.......)

Anw, I still feel bad about it. Rawrrrrrrrr. Should I just tell them this also?): I just hope they understand.

Signing off ,
Rachel

& still, I have not given up.

Love

2011-09-05T13:36:00.001+08:00

I have gotten myself a polorid today & I'm happy.

But feeling greedy again. If only I can get a Lomo or holga camera. Rawr!

Anyone can give me that as a birthday gift. <3 hahahahhaha

Singing off,
Rachel

10 random facts about me

2011-09-04T22:25:00.013+08:00

Seriously, it's been so long since I've last update my blog. Feeling Like a Lazy pig alr.

Anyway, "An Apple A Day, Keeps The Doctor Away" (:

Hmm, since It's such a long time I've update, Shall update something about me. Since I know I'm the only one who reads it, so I wont sound so BHB. :P

Actually, I've seen alot of changes in myself after guad from secondary 4. But there's a fact that wont ever change, I'm still a cry-baby): Guess that I'm just more emotional than other people?

Let's see, who knows I might get a shock to see myself in another way. I've seen many people writing in their blogs about 100 random facts about yourself, thus I'm starting to get tempted to do it too. But I shall cut in down. Let's see how far I can go.

Hmmmmm.

1. I'm a emotional person

2. I'm a person without secrets, good or bad?. (I do keep secrets for people though.) :D

3. I can be pretty talkative if I know you for very long.

4. I've learnt what to say what's not to be said after a punishment when I was in secondary 4.

5. I'm actually someone who doesn't have any topics to talk about, so please guide me along with it. (:

6. I might giggle to myself if the person I like sits beside me. (WEIRD) -.-

7. I might be emotional, but I don't show on my face if I'm stress.

8. I have dimples! :D

9. The type of guy I like....... must be someone who is able to lead me, and not control me. (Y)

10. Last but not the least, I can be very stubborn and persistent to the things/people I love.

That's all about it.

Rawr, I'm now bored after typing this. ): Just rant on my blog more! Hmm.

Sometimes I get pretty curious about this. Why does money stop people from getting the people they like. It's probably the way of how I think. I was brought up to learn to depend on myself and not other people. (Because I depend on people so much that I burnt myself ) :O So even money case, I rather spend my own money on stuff than my future boyfriend money. (In the past also like that. O.o) But I must say I'm still dependent on people lah! Heees :P For my problems. Okay, I'm starting to sound funny . Why am I even talking about this when I have no boyfriend? -.- Rawr.... But if a guy rejects you because of money issue, I really think it's weird. Probably, I just dont understand the feeling of being a guy .

Signing off,

Rachel

I won't give up, trust me.

2011-08-28T10:54:00.004+08:00

It has been a month plus since I last posted(: Will update later!

My DISC results:

44% S
40% D
12% C
4 % I

Your DISC personality test report

Your specific distribution of scores on the DISC personality test is an indication of your unique personality. You can think of this as your DISC Personality 'DNA'. In the pie chart below you see your distribution of scores.

The highest percentage is likely to be your most dominant personality factor, the second highest your next most dominant personality factor and so on. As such for you the DISC factors are ordered as: Steadiness, Influence, Compliance and Dominance.

Your DISC personality type
Your unique sequence of scores characterizes you in a specific way. The positive impact you are likely to make on people is:

You enjoy interacting with and helping people. You are open to new ideas and procedures.
Although you are calm and controlled you still project enthusiasm and optimism.
Your natural supportive, listening and empathetic behavior makes you a good coach. Someone people turn to when they need help or advice.

More about the individual DISC factors
To help you understand the DISC model of personality here are some descriptions of each of the factors measured. Descriptions are shown for people who score comparatively high and comparatively low.

Dominance

Comparatively High
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Dominance:

enjoy competition and challenge.
are goal orientated and want to be recognised for their efforts.
aim high, want authority and are generally resourceful and adaptable.
are usually self-sufficient and individualistic.
may lose interest in projects once the challenge has gone and they tend to be impatient and dissatisfied with minor detail.
They are usually direct and positive with people, enjoying being the centre of attraction and may take it for granted that people will think highly of them.
They may have a tendency to be rather critical of others. Consequently, other people may tend to see them as being rather domineering and overpowering.

Comparatively Low
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Dominance:

tend to want peace and harmony.
prefer to let others initiate action and resolve problems.
are quiet and indirect in their approach to most situations.
are usually cautious and calculate risks carefully before acting.
They are generally well liked because of their mild and gentle nature. Other people will tend to see them as being patient, calm, thoughtful and a good listener.

Influence

Comparatively High
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Influence:

are strongly interested in meeting and being with people.
are generally optimistic, outgoing, and socially skilled.
are quick at establishing relationships.
Sometimes their concern for people and people's feelings may make them reluctant to disturb a favourable situation or relationship.

Comparatively Low
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Influence:

are usually socially passive.
quite frequently have an affinity for things, machinery and equipment.
are generally comfortable working alone.
frequently have a tendency to be analytical and once they have sorted the facts out they communicate them in a straightforward direct way.
tend to take little at face value.
They may well have learned and developed good social skills but they only bring these into play when logic dictates such tactics.

Steadiness

Comparatively High
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Steadiness:

are usually patient, calm and controlled.
have a high willingness to help others particularly those they consider as friends.
Generally they have the ability to deal with the task in hand and to do routine work with patience and care.

Comparatively Low
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Steadiness:

tend to enjoy change and variety in their work and non-work life.
are expansive by nature and tend not to like routine and repetitive work/activities.
They enjoy stretching themselves intellectually and physically.

Compliance

Comparatively High
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively high in Compliance:

are usually peaceful and adaptable.
tend not to be aggressive.
tend to be cautious rather than impulsive.
avoid risk-taking.
act in a tactful, diplomatic way and strive for a stable, ordered life.
are comfortable following procedures in both their personal and business life.
They prefer sticking to methods that have proved successful in the past. They have a high acceptance of rules and regulations.

Comparatively Low
Here are some traits and behaviours that describe people who are comparatively low in Compliance:

are independent and uninhibited.
resent rules and restrictions.
prefer to be measured by results and are always willing to try the untried.
Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it.
They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best "delegated" or avoided.

Imma High S and I while Low D and C.

Signing off,
Rachel

I am who I am

2011-08-02T21:44:00.002+08:00

Peeps, I'm back(: Anw, i don't think anyone will be reading this so I decide to post up here, I don't wanna end up feeling upset for myself. RAWR.

Just edited the video and found out that it's pretty short uh! DIE

If I could, I should be stayed backed today. ): Sian lah.
Tomorrow also, hs day think alone only. -.-

Signing off,
Rachel

2011-07-22T19:16:00.001+08:00

I need a date. :D joke

I'm really boreddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. Talk to me pls. :D

2011-07-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

At this time, I'll be wishing that everything will go well. (:

2011-07-12T20:46:00.007+08:00

If I can turn back the clock, I wish everything hadn't started in the first place. The both of us didn't text in the first place. Not even the kbox meeting in the first place. So I won't be as hurting as now, though I'm still glad it happen. I'll admit it now, I like you. (: I actually thought it'll be over soon as time pass by, but when yesterday I tried convincing myself to give up on a guy that doesn't even have feelings for me, I cried. I can't expressed how I felt last night. -.- So, how?! HAIS! ._.

I swear I'm not having PMS or a bad mood yesterday hor! HAHAHAHA

I'm actually still glad all these happen, thanks(:

2011-07-11T20:10:00.002+08:00

I wish that this time round, you will be by my side when I break down. (Feels like breaking down now alr) But it'll never happen. I don't want to give up without trying though, but I'm really lost.

Looks like my dreams and reality are really opposite. :X

I feel like going MIA tomorrow. :P

2011-07-07T18:50:00.003+08:00

I feel like going MIA tomorrow. :P Anyway, I think I found my answer.

It's not about the confidence in relationship, it's the feeling of being afraid that I'll be betrayed again in the relationship. That's the reason why till now, I'm still unable to step forward and say something to you. O: And probably also the reason why I can't be initiative.

Rawr, my phone has been quiet for the whole day alr -.-

Cupcake!

2011-07-04T20:35:00.002+08:00

For today! :D Went to Choo's house for baking today! :D

Went to IMM before that for shopping of stuff, really spend alot uh. -.- Going to be broke soon. :X

Anyway, I've got a friend I recently knew had a very sad case. P/S: I never met her before, we just purely know each other through game stuff and chatted only. (: But I'm keeping her case a secret, unless you asked me! :D

But her case kind of reminded me some things, and that made me no more confidence in relationships anymore. I mean, it's not because of her. I've made mistakes like her, fell in love with the wrong person, got the most hurt I ever had, once gave up many dreams, nearly got into depression, didn't treasure myself like I used to, got hated by many people, forgot how to start trusting people. Probably that's called Karma. Though all this made me changed; I started studying hard, turned into a much stronger girl, changed my tears into smiles and more. I think that's when I start turning into a much nicer girl right? (: But everything changed too much, the confidence I used to have, were lost and til now, I felt like I'm invisible. Always forgotten by people. Haha, anyway, that made me into getting a phobia. Phobia of getting insulted by people. There's once, my Flashbacks of past came back when I was insulted by a teacher due to a very stupid reason. Wth?! Seriously, the flashbacks came back in my dream last night again. ):

Geesxz, Why do I sound like I know myself very well? Omg. (: Forget about it manxz! I'll get better one! :D

Anyway, I'll always be that cheerful lil girl people know. Aye, no more cry baby already hor! :D

Annyeong~

Signing off,

Rachel

I treat people like how they treat me.

2011-07-01T19:25:00.005+08:00

Annyeong~ I'm like finally willing to update my blog? Lazy uh, until like I'm really very free then I'm willing to.

Geez, I don't know what to update also. Hohoho, Ah ya! Transformers 3 is nice! ^.^ Made me not mind watching the second time. Haha, what to say what to say what to say?!

也许，我没办法再相信自己。我不否认自己是喜欢你的，但是我却不知道要怎么让自己在你心中有一丝丝的感觉。我不想相信别人告诉我与你有关的事，因为我只想相信自己所看到的，感觉到的，和你所对我说的。也许是因为这样，我才没有办法相信自己。以前曾经受的伤害，我已经感到害怕了，也之所以不敢面对爱情。Looks like I need to increase my self esteem already. :X

Signing off,

Rachel

I may not be what you seem to see.

2011-06-27T10:32:00.003+08:00

Finally back after like 1234567890 days? Attachment have passed and leadership camp too! (: Totally enjoyed the both, but it kills all my brain cells and such.

Though attachment is seriously very boring in the ward itself, but i think everyone had fun right?! With all those stupid and lame jokes from me, I guess someone gonna kill me soon. Hees[: Anyway, lucky the grade itself is still a B uh, or else........ Too slack in the ward already, having meal party in the teaching room like no one's business and more! But the comments that CI gave me was like.... O-kay.... She said that I was cheerful and not pro-active enough plus too quiet. Nothing to do, how to be pro-active? Haha. Quiet part, I don't really deny. I mean, I open up fast to everyone but unless you're open towards me then I'll do the same. Meaning if you're someone quiet, I won't know what to say to you also. :X

Anyway, LEADERSHIP CAMP ROCKS(: Really, though people ended up having muscle cramps, but it's fun can? I enjoyed the part about the adventure trip most, omg! Super fun, even though my old problem works on me again. -.- Pizza hut turns up to be everyone's motivation. Sabo-taging and more during the whole camp and after camp makes everyone really laugh like one mad person. Though it's like super mushy cannnnnnnnnnnnn? Not to forget the "RED-LINERS" games uh! Didn't understand anything till they explain to me one by one. Haha~ Pro right?! The night was scary yet fun. See stuff I dun wanna see (Let's forget about it), and the talking of relationship stuff by the red-liners in the room till 3am in the morning. End up everyone is tired in the morning (: HAHA.

I don't know what to do nowwwwwwwww. ):

Signing off,

Rachel

2011-06-18T19:37:00.002+08:00

I've been rotting like for many days now. Maybe not seen on the outside, but inside. :X

Anyway, attachment has a pretty fun for now. Though there's really nothing we can do in the ward. Even when we go to the delivery suite, there's not even one case. I think it's the jokes that kept everyone alive uh.(:

Life, is as usual. Phone is still as quiet for the past few days. Even till this time. :X Rawr~ It feels like everything is the same over and over again. ):

Going to rant on here again. Maybe because I'm alone now, i tend to think alot or reflect. But, at times I really feel empty. Shall not emo anymore. (: Continue to be that strong girl for now. #Idon'tknowtogiveuporgivemyselfanotherchancetofallinloveagain.

Oh ya, good news! FINALLY I CAN SIGN BOND NEXT THURDAY(Y).

Signing off,

Rachel

2011-06-15T17:54:00.001+08:00

Though it's just been a few hours, but I think that I miss you(:

Is that called like? Or called crush? OR?

Or should I give up cause I feel one-sided again? Tsk.

Signing off,

Rachel

2011-06-07T20:20:00.005+08:00

I'm a happy girl, and I will always be(:

I promise that one day I will try and make this cupcake. SUPER CUTE CAN! (:

Woah<3 I just realized I got lots of draft in my blog which I never post it up before. O.o

Signing off,

Rachel

If I can, I don't want to give up anymore.

2011-06-03T16:55:00.001+08:00

Settled! be right back after CT (:

I'm upset, disappointed and irritated

2011-05-10T20:41:00.002+08:00

Anyway guys, I'm back. Well, kinda upset today, like what you have seen from my title. ): But i promise myself, I'll be okay soon, real soon.

Since I'm not able to tell everything to the delegates, I shall write in my blog, hoping they see what they did wrong. I'm not trying to say what I say is correct, but the way they do thing really made me disappointed.

So, I'm upset of......... Not to deny, I pretty sad that I wasn't selected to be in the committee. I wanted that place badly, and I dare to say I worked hard for it, but still truth is there. I wasn't selected and selected some people who doesn't have leadership skills. Though I still learning to be a leader, but I feel that I have more leadership skills than them, more experience in a sense. But being in the delegates made me feel that leadership isn't important there anymore. Popularity is more important. Which shouldn't be the case! I hope there are stuff that I think too much, but I feel that the reason I wasn't selected is because I talk back to that teacher in charge that day in my practical test and another, I didn't speak up much as a leader. True, I may not speak up as much as other people who are naturally born with leadership skills. But I put in the effort people don't see in me, isn't that important too? Actually, I did speak up but is when the year 3s' are not around. See? That's my fault, I should have shown them I can do well in leading. But I feel like, it's not me if I gain popularity just because I want that position.

I want to be selected because I'm worth to be selected as a leader in leading the delegates.

So.... I'm disappointed because of the system in delegates. The voting system. Back to politics. Nation's voting system is good because they allow people to see who's worth voting, and who's not. But in school, it doesn't apply. WHO even care who has the leadership skills? As long as you are chosen, your friends would choose you. Who won't help their friend? Even me, I will. So this time round, I've decided. I won't join in the voting fun. No use anyway, since people are not being fair. For me, I have a better suggestion, which is interview. True enough, if the teacher/president has already decided who to choose, interview doesn't matters. But at the minimum, you will know what does the person wants, what post the person really want, the reason behind it and every thing . It won't be a one sided thing. Just by one camp and one voting and you want decide who's in committee, let me tell you this, you're not going to select a good leader.

It's reality. It's never going to be fair. That's how life is.

Lastly, I'm irritated, really irritated because they are racist! Really..... I don't care how people will feel after reading this post. Since it's my blog, I decide how the way I feel and how I describe my feeling . Okay, so here it goes. I feel that they are racist because they chose Malays instead of Chinese. You see, Nursing always teaches us to treat everyone equally. But when the committee doesn't, how do you expect other people to do the same? I dare to say I'm not racist. But you see, out of 20 people that are selected, how many are Chinese? Probably 3? Or 4? I understand that there are more Malays in the delegates than Chinese. I don't expect to be really half 10 Chinese half 10 Malays, but at least, give the everyone a chance. I consider this as a serious problem and I really wish that my batch people who are in delegates will pick better people with real leadership.

Shall end here. Or else it never ends. Believe this or not, up to you. But that's how I really feel right now. I can't say back because no changes will be made even I do. So now you see why i say that?

Tomorrow will be a brand new day. I'll forget today and the unhappiness I have. I believe I'll be fine by tomorrow. Hope so! (:

Signing off,

Rachel

It's been a long time again!

2011-05-01T17:08:00.002+08:00

Hi people. I just came back from granny house. Fulfilling lunch! Yummmmmmy. But made me too full. :P Haha.

School has been a torture recently. With a Drama-queen teacher. Oh my god. But actually, she's pretty nice if you listen to her and do the right thing. But it's making me pretty stress up. The 'it' refers to the school stuff uh, not the teachers. :D Guess that being a year one is better. :D

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZORA! :D

Head to fish&co to celebrate her birthday. And had fun. But so sorry that that day, my emotions aren't too stable. :P But still, I enjoy that day<3

Alright got to go! :D

Signing off,

Rachel

It's been a long time!

2011-04-16T11:24:00.002+08:00

Here! Next up! Camp and attachment! This will be a short one! :D

Camp was pretty fine except for some bumps. :P Rawr. But it's okay. I enjoy together with my group freshies! :D That's enough.

Attachment was tiring, but I gave my best shot in achieving and enjoying in the clinical settings. KPTH WARD 55! you guys really guided me along in many ways and THANK YOU! :D

Signing off,

Rachel.

It's been a long time!

2011-04-16T10:38:00.008+08:00

I'm finally back for updates for don't know how long? So which day am I supposed to start updating.

-------5 minutes later----------

Okay! Let's start from Pre-bonding trip. I mean the YEP Bacolod'11 :D Headed to Red Cross Home For The Disabled. (: Did some cleaning of the place and communicate with them. Then soon, THE TRIP TO BACOLOD. My reflection for it!

The day that I have been waiting for has come. It’s the trip to go Bacolod, Philippines for our Youth Expedition Project. The feeling I have at that moment was nervous as well as excited. I was appointed as a leader for this trip and I really hope I can handle the each situation well. Not only that, as a Year 1, I hope to bond well with the Year 2s’. Anyway, the flight from Singapore to Manila to Bacolod was pretty good and soon, we reached the place we called home for 2 weeks.

Day 2 arrived and we had breakfast prepared by the mummies there. That’s sweet of them. Next, we headed to the school for more visiting. From there, mummy Alice guided us more about the area and we even visited her house. As I looked at the door of her house, she drew her family staying inside the house under a tree. This symbolizes that their relationships would be very united no matter what happen. We even visited The Ruins. The learning point I had for Day 2 is that I saw how people go on with their life despite being poor and having so many obstacles in their lives. This is very encouraging for me because it shows that no matter how tough life is, we cannot just stop there and give up, but instead, we should continue to strive hard and do our best in everything with a smile.

Day 3 came fast, and it’s already our first day of construction. Our plan for the day is to do human chain. We formed a line and move sacks of sand from one end to the other. Being at the last end was pretty tough when you need to move and pour out the sand at the same time. Next, I was then placed at the water pump. Obviously, I had to pump enough water for the people doing cement. The Philippines students from the Art University came and help form the human chain. We had a last minute change of plans, so instead of going to the school, we stayed and did health assessment of the people there with Doctor Eugene and my group members. Many of them came and were happy that he is there to help. The learning point I had for Day 3 is that one must be flexible. There might be a change of plans at any point of time so it is important for one to be flexible. The human chain also shows that team work is important to succeed in any group task.

As for Day 4, we walked around the area of where we are staying and saw how they grew their plants. After that, it marks the start of our second day of construction. And from day 4 onwards, we moved the sand, build up the cement, build up the blocks and paint the house. I guess that’s when things start to get better and everyday, we would do the same thing till day 10. That is to do the construction work and head over to the school for health teaching. From what I remembered, we observed circumcision on day 7. It was totally an eye-opener for me. Not only we did circumcision that day, we even taught the people there how to do basic IT. But from what I have observed, most people there actually knew how to use a computer except for the younger ones. We also saw the mothers sewing children’s dresses to sell to the public. By the time day 10 came, we have already seen quite a number of events and from there, I learnt that people there lived a very simple life. Even though they are poor and lack of many things, they had their motivation going and this really encourages me a lot to work harder because the things I have right now, is something they have to work even harder to earn money for it.

On the Day 11, we visited GK and give the donations we had with us. They were very happy and even thanked us for the little presents we gave. Next, we proceed to the government hospital. I observed that that the environment in Bacolod hospital for a patient to heal is not as good as compared to Singapore. The bed are put together closely which increases the risk of patient getting viral infection. Singapore hospital has everything placed in a very neat and tidy position and the colours were mainly white to look for peaceful. But in Bacolod’s hospital, the colours of the place were mainly bright colours. Inside the ward looks neat yet because there are too many patients, 2 people shares a bed. We then visited the college and interacted with the nursing students there as well as visited the private hospital just beside the school. After interacting with the nursing students, I found out that we only study nursing for 3 years to be a nurse but they have to study 4 years to be one. Not only that, our attachment starts at year 1 but theirs is only at year 3. As for similarities, the modules we are studying are almost the same.

After spending 14 days with my peers in Philippines, I have learnt many things. This really made me a better person in many ways. I’ve learnt on how to be a leader and lead others as well as bond with my group members better. We can’t avoid conflicts and after each conflict, we open up and talk about how to settle the problem on the spot instead of blaming each other about such problems. Like the learning points I have said for the days, I feel that the simplicity from Bacolod cannot be replaced by Singapore. People in Singapore lived in a fast-paced situation and speed and accuracy is very important in Singapore, but for people in Bacolod, they lived a simple life and even small achievements made them happy. As a Singaporean, I guess we have to learn from them for their simplicity and as for them, they should learn from us for our effectiveness.

It's long i know! FULL OF WORDS. Pictures!

Place to get water! Jump shot @ The ruins! And The place where we build homes

Fun and more fun!

More to come.

2011-04-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

I'll update soooon!

Memories for Year 1 in Nursing!

2011-03-02T17:29:00.003+08:00

I'm going to take a long time typing this, especially my rate of typing words really sucks. :P

Let's start with......

How I and Zora first met. It's another cute memory though. We both met through Facebook where she thought that I'm from Regent band. :X and soon enough, we exchanged numbers and chatted like an old pal. That is where we met for Induction day for the first time! :D And okay, we sat together and saw someone who came late, Rafiq! We both were like asking each other why that kind of guy came to Nursing . O.o It's was pretty hilarious at that point of time though. Especially now he become one of our close friends. (:

Thereafter, it's another event, Freshman Orientation Camp! :D If I'm not wrong, that's the part where the HAHAHASIAO met each other despite not knowing if we're in the same class right? :D

Then, it's the start of our poly year, on the 18th April 2010. I can't remember the timing for my timetable last time, but i bet no one does. I can't remember how my class got together like now too! Interesting~

HAHAHASIAO got even closer within just one month and we really trust each other with everything. (Y) I still remember we chatted about this[:

First time our class (P31) went out is on the May 18. Headed to Arcade and caught a movie a Jurong point. :D Took Pictures! and the photo album was named as Chordae Tendineae! :D haha! YingYing's birthday is on the 19 May and! She got attacked by chocolate cakeeeeee! We joined the Captain's ball competition too, but got beaten by the teachers on the first game. OMG.

For June, everyone headed for attachment and soon it's July. And oh ya! The Nursing students broke the school record, 50% of the people fail during AAP exams! Haha. HS encounter came along the way, and We totally had fun! :D

August came without anyone knowing and we had our lunch at Alumi with Ms Pam! O.o Anyway, that month is also the month where the PAS teacher took my phone. -.- But anyway, thanks for the encourage from you all! (: YOG started around this month and we had our study break for 3 weeks :D Oh ya, HS Day! John and Zafran were there to perform and we were all there to SUPPORT! :D

As for September, Everyone had their attachments and holidays for 6 weeks. October, results came out and you can see disappointments or happiness. :D Red camp starts and people starts missing lessons. OOPS. I've got my role as a student leader and had lots of meetings): But anyway, it's a nice experience working with people! :D Changes in our classes and such.

November, P31 and P32 went to Marina Barrage and celebrate Shang's birthday! Not only that, we headed to Ion Orchard for Swensens'! Yummmmy~ :D December pass us fast and it's already January. Mr Mazlan gave us $200 dollars and we planned for a BBQ outing and overnight! :D It's another great memory of our class. ^.^ We had fun talking and playing games. And! I managed to feeeeed people. ^.^ HAHA.

February which is this month , everyone worked hard for exams and finally it's over! Last day of the exam paper, we all separated into 2 groups. Some went Shisha while, the HAHAHASIAO went to IMM! :D Not to add on the Valentine's day trip. (: Now? People are having their hoildays or waiting for attachment to start but me? I'm going Philippines soon! :D

THANKS P31 AND THE HAHAHAHSIAO FOR MAKING MY YEAR 1 MEMORIES MEMORABLE <3

Signing off,
Rachel

P/s: OMG. I'm so happy that I managed to finish typing this. HAHAHA.

Feelings

2011-02-26T15:07:00.000+08:00

Hey babes and dudes, back again. Omg. It's been like a long time? Been very busy with exams, esp the aap and Cmbio. I'm not confident about this. But looks like it's going well yea? But not for FON and pharmacology. Papers are completely dead for both uh. Just hope that I pass!:)

Anyway, I'm done with my AAP and FON papers alr. Phew. 2 papers done. 2 more to go on Monday and Tuesday. Prays that the paper is easy and I can actually score. ^.^

Currently in train when I update this. Hmmmmmmm. I've got my KOI with me!:)

I just have a talk with my babe today, just a few minutes ago. It's really nice uh. And I really tell her how I feel about this person. But! It'll be over soon. I know I'll get rid of the feelings on my trip to Cebu. I will. :D I hope. . . O.O

I totally agree that I'm sensitive towards how a person feel. But at the same time, I'm confident about myself though not in relationship.

Signing off,
Rachel

2011-02-18T21:46:00.003+08:00

I swear that I'm really tired now. Not just physically, but mentally. Too many things that happen.

There's too many things going through my small brain that is the size of my fist. Rawr(: Ignore what I've just said just now.

What's going through this brain?
Answer: Many Many.

Don't talking about the liking part, it's just a very small portion of it. I've been leader recently. Different types of leaders. :X Redcamp Leader, YEP trip leader, now the bonding camp leader. I got my chances, so I accept and take it.

I'm just not good at rejecting people. I'm not good with communicating with people too, thus, even though i may have give my shot, it still doesn't works out. I dislikes last minutes things too, for documents stuff! That's what makes me feel lousy.

YEP leader ( MANY MANY DOCUMENTS TO SETTLE! )
BONDING CAMP-FOC leader (Communication part!)
Jealousy part (Shhhhhh!)
Friendship problems (Afraid the HAHAHA-SIAO will split up, like seriously)
SCARED OF MUD! REALLY REALLY SCARED. So i don't dare to play with dirty games for bonding camp.
AND MANY MANY MORE! D:

STRESS AHHHHHHHH ):

Signing off,
Rachel

It's just my problem.

2011-02-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

I'm not going to fall in love again . At least during this year 1 and year 2. till one day I'm convinced that we both will last. Shall not even like someone . ):

Jealousy

2011-02-15T16:52:00.002+08:00

I don't normally talk about jealousy. Not to my friends though, that's why I'm updating about this today.

"Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment"

Pretty true. I'm getting more afraid as times goes by. Why? Anyway, it's just a small matter. Probably, it's just that I don't have any more confidence in myself. I can't help but compare myself with my friend. Making it sounds nice, I'm using the word envy instead. I envy her for being so close to him. I wish I could too, even though this is going to take a long time. But that's what I feel now. I can't hide from this but I'm pretty sure that that guy likes her. That's the reason why I'm jealous even though I only know him for like 2-3 weeks? I'm beginning to suspect myself if he's only just an eye-candy to me.

In any case, My NSL practical test is over and I'm preparing for AAP, by tomorrow. :P Don't mention about practical test to me, the results sucks, i know. My only A in my result slip is gone. No more getting back to it. And that really breaks my heart when you start to give yourself a goal, yet the results is not what you expect. That's how I feel.

Probably, I shall stop giving myself hopes about relationships and stuff. It just brings me pain. Give me time to fix it.

Goodbye.

Signing off,
Rachel

Life as usual

2011-02-11T09:42:00.003+08:00

It's Friday! And I've no school. And that means I'm free for the day! My life is as usual I guess. Can't change much even I have "Eye-candy" :P

Anyway, we had this mini-dance competition during our Sports and Wellness time. ^.^ It's a one minute dance that's all, but it's nice! (Y) Alright, there are some problems which I've met though, and this made me reflect again. I couldn't control my feelings and tend to let my emotions control me, which is a bad thing. ): I totally got freaked out by their appearances and I swear that I really don't want see just that one guy which he had been staring at me like one crazy uncle last semester. This totally freaks me out and makes me uncomfortable, so he can't blame me for asking him to go out of the class right? Anyway, forget about this. Thanks for my babes about the dance alot! REALLY. It's a nice dance! ★

I've been reflecting on myself too much now and then. Which makes my head like "empty"? and I really don't like that. Firstly, it's about my babes. It's not only me that feels that way, but they're like hiding things and stuff from us. It's pretty obvious you know. I hope is that I think too much even though I know it's not. Come'on Any problems the five of us will always share and never intend to hide before but what's wrong? I really need a answer, and I don't like to feel this way. ♬

Next, it's about facing myself. Probably it's after the "last break-up that happened like near 2 years ago?", I feel like I've given up myself on relationship. The confidence level of myself in a relationship isn't that high anymore. I knew i shouldn't feel that way but i just did. I like someone, but don't know how to get close with him. Worse still, I think I'm not good enough for him. Why. Because of the past. :X I need to get out of all this soon. Really. ♡

Okay, I've to stop blabbering or else it'll never ends. :X I will always be the friendly girl which I really am. Lend a listening ear if anyone needs.

Signing off,
Rachel

You'll never know what happens next if you never try

I'M REALLY TIRED.

2011-02-07T22:30:00.003+08:00

Since i don't think that people will view my blog, shall update most of my feelings here. (:

Me. I seem invisible to people. Not sure why. I can't help but feel anxious most of the time. Feeling tired of all of the things. Just when I thought I've let it go, I had another feeling; Should I wait or what? For relationship, I admit that I'm anxious and hope that things would go smooth. But i know this is not going to happen. I'm not good enough for him. RAWR! ):

If You Were To Give Me A Chance, Who Knows Something Good Might Comes Out?

Signing off,

RACHEL

GOODNIGHHHHHHHT <3

2011-02-07T20:08:00.002+08:00

"Rawr. This happen when I'm stuck in a situation like this . I used my whole evening like one crazy girl trying to find my answer. But I couldn't. Afraid if I know him better to find out he wasn't my type and get disappointed. Afraid that I'm not his type when I start to sink too deep. Afraid that he'll mind my past. Afraid of everything that will happen.

Hey! What is this?! Since when are you in such a loss? You're not like that! ): See? That's how irritating it is. I can't get rid of the feeling now.

I looked at the mrt map. And see the difference. We live right the end of each other. So what if he drives? It's just a waste of time. I bet I'm not his type of girl too. I can see.

I guess I should be back to the emo girl. Giving up every chances instead. No more confidence. ):

Signing off.
Rachel

If only everything has turned the other way instead. "

Okay. I wrote this Like Probably 3 daya ago? But still I feel the same way. Im like not able to find back my confidence. That's why. Once bitten twice shy. Rawrrrrrrrr. Not that I'm desperate or what, but. . . I really hope we can be close, but ..... I'm afraid. )):

Happy Chinese New Year ♥

2011-02-04T15:31:00.004+08:00

Happy CNY People~! It's the 2nd day of CNY and! I'm stuck at home doing nothing. ):

Alright, it's because my sister and mum were too sick to get out thus, second collection of angbaos' is gone. X: But it's fine, health is more important. Currently, collectedddddddddd "That" amount of money and thinking what shall i use it for, probably by saving?

Anyway, CNY this time round is like any normal new year. Nothing new.

Signing off,
Rachel

I really hope I mean something to you, so I can have a chance

Giving up

2011-02-04T15:26:00.001+08:00

Probably I shall stop and let this "Eye-candy" just slipped off. He's just too good for me. Or probably is my lack of confidence. :X

2011-02-01T16:48:00.001+08:00

I'm back finally:D

Have been busy with school work and stuff. ); not really the studying part. I'm still slacking despite the upcoming exams. :P Had anatomy practical test today. Was hoping the results will be good, you know. After hard core studying for 2 and a half hours. Probably not really hard core. Drawing of mindmaps and parts of body, my drawing is getting sucky)): but it's okay. I know I'm able to pass well, pretty well in fact. :D

Alright. I don't know if it is me that is also thinking too much. But I hope there won't be anything that the babes are hiding me from. I felt that way recently. Hope no conflicts too!:) *praying hard I'm thinking too much. Argh. This is upseting me manxzs!

I... thought I've forgotten that feeling. But some guy just pop-ed out my mind after the camp. And that feeling back back. I don't want another hurting relationship, and anymore break-ups. Just a long lasting one. but seems difficult for me. I've not much confidence in it and think I'm not good enough for him. So should I take the next step forward or give up? Just hoping it won't scare that person away.

Daddy's out for dinner with his friends tonight. So, the three "women" shall have pizzzzza! :D

Yeah. Guess that's about it. Buhbye.

Signing off,
Rachel

Sorry, it's over! :P

2011-01-26T20:55:00.002+08:00

I'll update as soon as I'm done with my work! <3>

3 test tmr is gonna kill me. D:

& lastly, I was chosen to be the leader for YEP Philippines.

Great chance, but afraid to be separated from my friend. ):

Signing off,

Rachel

Outing! ♪

2011-01-16T13:05:00.009+08:00

I'm kinda late for updates. :P I was too tired already. HAHAHA!
Yup! Outing on a friday with my class! ♥ Had barbeque's at East Coast Park and over night! ^.^ It's a sad thing that some of my friends couldn't join us. But it's alright, we had fun chatting and playing of games. (Not to say that I slept for 2 hours! Too tired): ) & I managed to feeeeed people! LOL

I guess pictures speaks itself! :D

The BBQ starts and the first foooood cooked! (OMG! CHAO DA!)

The drizzling make us took out umbrella for a BBQ~!

The pit and the P31♪ (Except 3 classmates!)

Sunset and the overnight crew! ♥

Signing off,

Rachel

Busy week!

2011-01-11T19:06:00.004+08:00

RAWR. I'm indeeeeeed busy. With projects! ):

Alright! I've recently gotten back my results and is contented with it. :X I got a B4 for my English! I've passssssssed♥！Congrats to people who score well too! You've worked hard! ((:

Projects projects projects): It's like it's never gonna end.

Signing off,
Rachel

2011-01-06T19:15:00.002+08:00

Having SAWI moudle movie again. In the dark now while I type this. I miss having a boyfriend. Kind of emo today. No reason why. Like.... Just sad uh):

Today's school ends at one in the afternoon. Went home early and cooked my dinner cum lunch. Yeah. Came back just to post this. Shitxzs! What wrong with me?!

Signing off,
Rachel

Another day gone like that again.

2011-01-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

Another day gone like that again. (: AAP lecture and tutorial for the day. First week of schoooool and there's so many missing classes. Don't have to go for Nursing Research lecture and tutorial and some other tutorials. But everything would resume next weeeeeek >.<

Seeeems that its stop raining~! :D Awwwwww. I'm excited for next week's class BBQ! Lots of picture have to be taken! ^.^

Signing off,

Rachel

Another Day

2011-01-04T09:39:00.007+08:00

Heyheyhey. Guess that I have to start uploading photos soon. Haha! I'm having my practical class now and it's pretty funny! Playing with the breath alert stuff. Uploading photos to ~~Photobucket~~ gaveup before I load it up here. :X Seems like a long time that I've start uploading photos. I know it's kind of plain without them. I'll try to upload if i can from now onwards but don't expect much. :P

Hees[: Playing smurf in my class:D and Phototaking with the mouthpiece! It's pretty k?

Signing off,

Rachel

If I could explain like it's doesn't sound like an excuse

2011-01-03T21:25:00.003+08:00

Rawr. I'm bored and doesn't feel like studying for AAP. Yeah, so I'm back here. Thinking of what to do now. Oh yah! Iron clothes which I haven't. :P

Been searching for personality test and such while watching Secret Garden(: Some were quite true and I kind of like to do when I'm bored. I missed the phone calls I used to have and more. :X

2011-01-03T19:28:00.003+08:00

Back to blogging since school re-open!:)

And again, Happy New Year people. It's already 2011. So don't ever write a wrong date k? Omo. See how time flies. I'm getting my English results soon. Really hope to get a pass or a better result. If I could. Praying hard hard~ :D

My resolution for 2011:
Have a boyfriend perhaps, if a correct one comes along.
Study and improve in my grades.
Develop an interest in AAP and Cmbio. One day!
Keep my NSL grade A
Get over some irritating feelings. It will!:)
Probably, I have to start saving money.
Maintain some stuff (it's a secret!)

Haha! That's about it. I know some are lame but I guess I still a
girl after all. I kinda lost the feeling of love and feeling of being treasured. Not only that. Theres more. But... Alright it's fine. Smile and it'll be fine:) I guess that's my life. Single and independent. Actually I'm considered dependent. Someone told me before that I'm considered tough as I could smile and pretended nothing happened the next day. But I don't think so. No particular reason why. But that doesn't mean I'm weak either. I just couldn't control my anger and unhappiness at times, that's why I cried I guess. Argh. Why am I even talking about this?!

School's fine and everything is pretty good. So I guess that about it. Shitxzs! I'm freezing in the bus. Can't type. ):

Signing off,
Rachel

2011-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Goooooooooodbye 2010, Hello 2011! :D

2010-12-09T19:50:00.001+08:00

I'm in Thailand, Chiangmai now. 1st day:) Nothin much happen today on the tour. Oh yeah! I just found out that their calendar doesn't have pig. O.o it is elephant. Omo. I dislike the bus): shake shake shake Double dragon temple is next that we went to. :) it's quite good and pretty! We walked this pyramid (idk what's that called) 3 times and prayed. Quite meaningful, and of course I prayed for my results and good health:D not to mention about the scenery that we see at the top when we walked the 306 stairs. We get the see the whole scenery there:) thereafter, we headed to the herb collection store:) I like the smell!:) Though they introduced quite a number of herbs but not really interested. :p but there's one herb that taste very sweet:O it will go well with coffee I think:) haha! Back to hotel at 3 and dinner at 8.30pm:) the food here isn't that bad, I kinda like it. Performance by the Thais while eating. The girls are pretty!:p But I was sleppppy. ):

Day 2!
Woken up because I didn't sleep well): the tour guide brought bus to see flowers at 7 plus and the orchids are beautiful:) thereafter we went to see ELEPHANTS! Omg. They're fun to be with. And of course, we sat in them. Although they walked slowly, but not stable! It's shaky and fun at the same time:D Walking up is not as bad as walking down. When the elephant walks down, my sister and I feel like we are slipping down the chair! The guy who sat on the head came down and asked us to sit on it. But we didn't :P I got freaked out. Oh yah! I was attacked by an elephant behind me. HAHA! It splashed my back till it's all wet:) well, I guess that would be the most exciting part of the trip!:) we went t see the making if umbrella next. I know it's boring, but it's like that when you followed a tour right? :P and for the rest if the day, nothing much happened except that we went to lots of areas.

Day 3
Omo. Today's a tiring day for me. We went to Chianglai and visited their areas of interest. The pictures in my Facebook would have shown it. We visited the temple, took a walk around in Laos. Not to forget, we alighted at one of the police station. Haha! Nothing much, we headed there for toilet break and buy some things we wanted. I felt awkward to reduce the price for the clothes, maybe because I'm not used to it, but my daddy can! Wow. At least I managed to buy a shirt I liked. :D that's enough for me. Haha! Oh yah! This morning we even went to see the people with long necks. I'm not sure what's that called in English. But I pity them. They have to wear the gold stuff on their neck since 5 years old. And it will add again and again and one grows older. Ouch! It breaks my heart to see the kids having blue black on their neck while wearing it. Lastly, I saw many stars! Many many! Cause it's dark at night. :) the whole sky is covered with it. If only my eyes could take pictures):

Day 4 and 5 was pretty normal. I went for foot massage! Haha. Cheap and nice. Of me uh. Cause I'm afraid of pain. ): We went to the market in the morning for a walk and rested till the we catch the plane in the afternoon. :D

Signing off ,
Rachel

P/S: A little photos of the trip is uploaded in Facebookkkkk! (:

2010-12-02T19:17:00.002+08:00

I'll report back here after trip to Thailand! (:

Awww. I think I'll miss my friends. HAHA. Time flies so fast, my exam is done here(for the moment) and I'm going overseas tomorrow. :D Alright. Got to pack my things. Annyong~

Signing off,
Rachel

When will I find my Mr. Right?

A long and tired day. ):

2010-11-26T20:12:00.002+08:00

I'm tired today. I tried so hard to smile in front of that lecturer.

Well, I had practical Exam today. I'm kind of confident that I can score well before I even step into the room. Even confident of getting an A. That's why I didn't spend too much time studying. Basically, i read through yesterday and understand the concepts. So today morning, I feel confident. I felt anxious only when I was outside the room. I prayed that I can get a pass. A pass would be sufficient for me. But human have their greedy side too, if they can score well, why get a pass only? Finally, I stepped in and selected the middle envelope. I got the blood glucose monitoring. I was indeed happy! I've got what I wanted. But everything changes with that Bitchy lecturer. Can't believe that I met someone that like boys more than girls. and it's way too much. She scolded me for my method of doing things and yet smile happily at another guy. :X PS: I did nothing wrong! My method is correct because I followed the book. Before I do another, she commented again.I did one step and she commented. It felt like I'm back in those times. I can't get rid of the flashbacks and I feel insulted by her. Worse still, I left without knowing if i pass or fail. Obviously, I cried. It's not about the pass or fail thing, but it's the way she talk to me made me pissed off and afraid. Looks like it's not easy trying to get rid of those feeling easily. But thanks to my NSL teacher, he called me during SAWI and told me that I've passed with pretty good grades. (: I was happy for a moment, went inside the room, sit down. SHIT! I got 31 or 21. Argh. Hope I didn't hear wrongly. (:

Yeah. Such a long day today. My eyes are freaking pain and I feel like sleeping. Looks like today is not a good day to study~ ): Annyong~!

Signing off,
Rachel

Red camp!

2010-11-22T21:51:00.001+08:00

Wow. It's been quite some time since i've last updated.

SCHOOL HAS BEEN BUSY!
Esp. Red camp. :X But everything went well, so. it's worth it! :D

Signing,
Rachel

I'll start blogging again after exam. :D

Survey

2010-11-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

Hey! I need your help in doing a survey . THANKS

Loading...

Signing off,
Rachel

Relationships

2010-11-03T18:29:00.001+08:00

Heyhey! I'm back again:))

Schools great and everything's fine for the moment. Haha. It's a Wednesday today, and I enjoyed it, like totally:) of course, with my babes and a dude. Hees:) Lectures was boring Tooo! And it should start at 9am. But because she's going overseas soon thus we started at 8 since last week. PLUS! We had a movie yesterday which ends at like 9? It's a movie where every student have to come for. It wasn't that bad, ( though I spent most of my time sleeping.) but I did watch some parts. Haha! But it ended so late that most of us came to school with Panda eyes. Oops!

Since I'm supposed to act as idk, I have to rant some stuff here. Hees:P Relationships. Okay. Recently, Q got onto a relationship. Which was freaking damm fast. Made us worried if that girl really like Q or just despo. I hope she really like Q uh! Or else it will be damm sad if he was being used. :) (cause he's always our gay best friend!) jealousy is what I dislike. I might say some nonsensical stuff but trust is needed in relationships. Since you don't trust him that he likes you and would stay by you, why get together in the first place? And please! If you wan your bf to send you home, tell him. Why say don't want and get mad over him because he didn't? To prove if he really cares? -.-

Alright. I need to stop now. Or I will go nonstop. :P but I wish the best out of them:D byes!
Annyonng~

Signing off,
Rachel

2010-10-31T20:07:00.002+08:00

School has started and busy busy busy! [: Busy with? RED CAMP! :D

Of course studies too. New topics and such. Trying to cope with it. Red camp and studies. Hmmm. Not easy uh. Hope I can juggle the time well with my studies. I'm sure I will! :D Being a leader isn't easy. Trying to study is tooooo! .

Alright. That's about it for today. BYEEEEEEEEEE :D

Signing off,
Rachel

Days

2010-10-25T20:17:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps. It has been 22 days since i last updated. ): Been Tooo busy with Exams in poly and O level English. Attachment is over tooooooooooo! Great. :D

I feel like - again. Kinda stress up with stuff and pissed off with some people. >.<>

Going back to school tomorrow. YES. :D Kind of happy though I had to study again. I'm considering sponsorship eh. Should i Or not? O.o

Guess that's about it after so long. No mood.

Bye

Signing off,

Rachel

2010-10-03T17:46:00.002+08:00

Seriously, i dont know what she's thinking. F. -.-

Alright. time to cool down. [: School is starting in 3 weeks time and my attachment is starting tomorrow. I wonder what interesting things or bad stuff would happen in those days. Had a bad feeling about this. Hmm.

Alright. I wont be blogging for 3 weeks probably. Busy days ahead~
Bye

Signing off,
Rachel

When will be the time?

2010-09-27T14:00:00.000+08:00

Hey people. I'm back from updates again. O.o I'm so bored at home that I'm drowning myself with dramas. :P pretty nice I think. I like the showwwws. Oh yah. I've bought my sims 3 world adventure recently. Pretty fun.

): my attachment is starting. I'm pretty afraid of it that I'm unable to perform well. But I should trust myself I can right? :D I needed confidence. -.-

Results are coming out soon too. Real soon. 1st oct. How? I think I will retake at least one module but I really hope I won't. Jiayou!

Off I go.

Signing off,
RACHEL

Boredom):

2010-09-22T11:16:00.002+08:00

I'm Really bored at home nowadays, that's why i dislike holidays. I love school much more though there's test and such but at least I'm happy with everything. I had fun, laughters and so much more. (:

Alright. I'm halfway through writing my formal writing, that's why i'm bored. HAHA. Just as I want to play with Sims 3, there's a problem! ): Trying to solve it now tooooo. I wish there's something for me to do now.

I had the sudden feeling to fall in love. HAHA. But. Alright it's fine. Probably Single is better. ^.^Goodbye people!

Signing off,

Rachel

Dreams

2010-09-14T11:17:00.002+08:00

Dreams. Have you ever had a dream that makes you remember so much? :D I had today. Aww. It makes so feel so happy that i don't want to wake up. Alright. i know it sounds stupid but i didn't why i had that dream either. D: It made me so curious about the meaning of the dream that i check on the net. HAHA.

3 more weeks to attachment. Come faster please. I want to know my results tooooooo! ):

It's a boring 3 week break. ):

Signing off,

Rachel

2010-09-13T12:45:00.002+08:00

I'm boreddddddd that's why i don't like holidays. D: Like i'm rotting at home uh. I've been baking chocolate chip muffins since morning. ((: I likeeeee my muffins though it's a little too sweet. :P

School's over and holiday is here. BUT. my friends are having their attachment. ): so, i'm rotting at home. I wonder how i did for my exams. I'm not really confident that i will pass but i hope so. (:

I'm bored. Someone entertain meeee please.

Signing off,

RACHEL

Time

2010-09-03T13:55:00.003+08:00

I'm lost in track of time): Too much to study. Alright. I'm done with 2 papers for this week. 2 more for next week. Will I be able to make it? I think i'm going to flunk them all. Firstly, I think that my FON isn't of what I expected. It's pretty easy but I've got a problem. I couldn't remember the answers. D: But for MIC, it turns out better.(: I counted my marks for MIC and i think i might get a pass for it. Hope so. I don't want to re-take the module. Next up, AAP and PAS. Two killers. I'm so sure i'm going to be dead for both. D: I just have to work hard for it again. A rest day for today.(:

Signing off,

Rachel

2010-08-19T20:13:00.004+08:00

I wish I won't be able to see any thing that affects my mood ever again. ): It's pretty upsetting. But since it's the truth, guess that I shouldn't think about it again. So SHOO~ :D I had a very complex feeling where it's pretty disturbing. A feeling where you're happy for your friends that are attached and a feeling where you're jealous of it. But the confidence in love has faded for me. Afraid to fall in love because I'm afraid of losing.

There are many things that one have difficulty in getting in life. For me, theory in studies and love in life. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. I have to work hard for both. And i trust myself one day i will do it. But. I NEED TO CONCENTRATE! 3 weeks of YOG aka STUDY BREAK. And i have been playing for 2 weeks. Ooooops.

Studies is getting better and i recently got A+ for my practical. But i know that only practical stuff I would be confident. But theory? I think i would die. Not much confident about it. D: But i would try though i knew i won't be able to study at home. Oops. ):

Signing off,
Rachel

Raining

2010-08-17T17:39:00.002+08:00

It's raining now(: More cooling. I have the sudden feeling of blogging since I can't seem to study. Yea, Nothing seems to get inside my brain. I'm failing my subjects soon again. D: One more week and it's my O level English Oral already and i don't feel prepared. ):< Awwwww. Hope I can really study. :D

Take a step at a time. Sometimes i feel a part of me is missing too. Like, the feeling of not having a crush with someone is weird. But i still like my single life. Without getting controlled and sad over r/s stuff. But still i feel weird. How come? Sometimes i wonder: When will the right one comes? Hees[:

That's all for today. :D

Signing off,
Rachel

Goodbye

2010-08-08T19:08:00.002+08:00

Guess that i would not update my blog till my exam finish.(:

I was posted to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital and I'm doing my attachment on my BIRTHDAY. ):
Alright. That's about it. Byyye

Signing off,
Rachel

When Girls cry, boys say Lame Shit.
But when Boys drops a tear, they make a fuss about it.

2010-08-06T06:37:00.002+08:00

Alright let's post about this. Yesterday's PAS(: Freaking upset day.

I'm not going to care about the comments they have on me later on. Because I knew some of them just cared about themselves. Nature of human.

Yeah. It's like what people saw. Took picture, Lecturer saw, Asked to pass Handphone, rejected, end class. Freakkkk! And you know what? At that time, my mind is like a movie. Seriously. It brings me back to the unhappiness and insults I endured in the past in secondary school. And back to the reality again, saying that: "You can talk back to him about the 3 pictures he took for L03 and play law stuff with him" Yeah right. But I knew myself I can't. This would let the whole lecture stop and what help it brings? Nothing. No one will get a clue of what's going to come out for PAS. So i pass my phone, packed my stuff and out of the room. Let me add on to something, why not i say you took me phone and invaded my privacy?

And now you see this post, you might think I trying to say how bad I felt. Yeah you're right. I'm not going to hide from the past. I faced up to it and made myself stronger. But at that point of time, it just keep flashing and I felt depressed and pain.

So, if you don't know what has happened to me after I stepped out of lecture hall, it's this. & Taking picture of a powerpoint slide is nothing. No one wants to take a picture of you, just in case you sue them. (:

Signing off,
Rachel

2010-08-05T17:46:00.000+08:00

I'm damm unhappy now. Freak. Thinking of a way to laugh. [:

2010-08-05T13:19:00.002+08:00

I'm back again. I'm feeling bored and don't feel like studying AAP. There's test later. ):

Oh my! Today AAP lesson is canceled due to shoes. LOL. We are not told to wear shoes when we step inside the class lab and he claimed that he did. Yeah right manxz. >.< Thus, we changed our lesson on tomorrow morning. Aww~ We'll be meeting NSL teacher later at alumni for lunch. Kind of school stuffs too. HAHA

Sweets again! :D It's not weird i like very sweet stuff. ((:

Signing off,
Rachel

Probably, that's the best for everyone.
Change our mindset for the better(:

2010-08-05T08:46:00.002+08:00

Morning people! I'm at PAS lecture now!:) using touch again:D

Oh ya! I had NSL test yesterday and it's pretty easy:D that's because of the tips that teacher gave. Hohoho:) practical stuff suits me better. Lol:D

Sweets! I love them:P

Signing off,
Rachel.

Colours

2010-08-02T18:01:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps. I'm released at 4pm today so i decided to blog a little today(: Little only. O.o

School's fine. Everything is fine. :D

Colours. Reminded me of the song unpainted canvas from the choir. I like the lyrics. (:

I'm going off for Tuition sooooon. Anyone free to text meee? Pretty Please. I'm freaking bored uh.

Signing off,

Rachel

Once upon a time♥

2010-07-30T20:28:00.003+08:00

I'm back again! I've been blogging frequently.

I had my second presentation and everything went well. It's about the Singapore Healthcare System. Mrs Chua gave each of us some comments and tell us the overall comments that she has concluded. I'm quite happy that she told us we did quite well but we had too much information and I lack of confidence. ): But still, there isn't too much error made.(: Work hard for the next one I guess. MIC re-test. Congrats me. I failed. Expected results even before taking the test in the afternoon. That's because I did not even read and study about it. FON Test Alright. I will pass(: I know I will because I had the answers before hand! Oops. But that's true. Time flies fast and it's end of week fifteen already. Really need to catch up with my school work. Or else i think I will die in mid year exams. Work hard! :D

Alright. Enough of school stuff. Get on to another topic.

Once upon a time♥ . Pretty speechless about this though.

Oh ya! Last to add on. I really dislike stares that looks like you're going to eat me up. If you want to talk, Step forward, no one bites right? :D

Signing off,
Rachel

2010-07-28T19:31:00.003+08:00

Hey people. I'm back updating again! Hees[:
Finally free of projects for the moment. Just left the presentation part only. [: Te-test for some modules coming along and I have to prepare to it. Even though i think i won't. Oops. :D uh-huh. I really want to upload photossssss :D But I've freaking lazyyy. HAHA. School School School. Busy~

Signing off,
Rachel

Life

2010-07-24T19:30:00.002+08:00

I'm back for updates and it's like... finally?!

I'm down with flu and sore throat. ):

School is considered fine for me. Except for failing of modules. Hees[: I have to work hard for it. Projects is pilling up & I'm sick. RAWR~ . And i still have to finish it. Case study for Singapore healthcare system. Solutions for identified problems for CITS. ~~Script for role play(Done)~~ And many more. Retest on Monday for psychology and i haven't even study. ):

My FON reflections on the clinical attachment:
"I had my first clinical attachment in the polyclinic which is a great learning experience and it has widen my knowledge to things that happened in the attachment.
St luke's hospital left me a deep impression as I observed things that one would not see in polyclinic or eldercae. I've seen how nurses dealt with pressure ulcers in the range from small to big and how nurses fed these patients with milk using the Nasogastric intubation. I have also helped to take the Vital Signs of these patients while interacting with them.
I enjoyed myself most at the child and development room as well as Child immunization room in polyclinc. I helped the nurses in distracting the child by making them laugh before they were given the injection. I have also seen the videos of how papsmear and mammography was done in the women's postnatal room.
In the Eldercare, I've learnt the importance of communication to the elders. I have seen patients that has mood swings and some with diseases. I also help out in giving these elders food and cleaning the area. "

I know it's long here in the web. But it's pretty short. HAHA.

Alright. Enough of school. (: Some post about life. Hees[: FACE. I've been thinking at times if one really need to lie for face. Probably, though I would say truth is better. If you would tell someone the truth than to allow someone know it through other people, you might not lose face. &sometimes your lie might be said as excuses. So which would you choose? A lie to cover it temp just not to lose face or lose face for a few months and make them feel happy for you as you face the truth. I have to stop here. Will continue with other topics. Hees[:

Signing off,
Rachel

Liking someone, please use actions instead of telling them.
There is a difference.
& please, I hate stares. Freako.

2010-07-23T21:43:00.001+08:00

I really really want to update. But I'm freaking tired now. Guess that it'll be tomorrow):

Gettin crazy~

2010-07-16T14:29:00.002+08:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm currently in Communication in Nursing Practice TUTORIALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL :D

Currently - CURRY? !
OMG! Someone Caught me Blogginggg. :X
Freakkkkkk! I'm laughing like what. -.-
I <3 blogginggggg :D

.______________________________.

Signing off,
Rachel

i'm vexed.

2010-07-12T23:27:00.003+08:00

Alright. I'm back for update at this point of time. :X
Cause I'm waiting for my hair to dryyyyyyyyy ):

I don't know what actually happen to me just now. I sat there and I thought of some stuff I told to someone one to three months back and I'm pretty surprised to have this feeling of sorry. I've been saying too many harsh words to this person. Yeah, that person deserved it. But I just don't know why i felt that for a moment. I read through what I've said to you on MSN and found out I didn't say about my heartfelt words. They are just words to stop those hurts only. Probably. (:

Alright. Back to school stuffs. I failed 3 modules out of 5. Hmmm. Re-test coming up! So I hope there's a better way to pass this. :D Work Hard! Projects along the way is killing me. All last minute work which made me very tired. Trying to balance English with Nursing, which seems impossible. HAHA. Hope things get better along the wayy . :D

Yeah. That's about it.

Signing off,
Rachel

Attachment and movieeeeeeeee

2010-07-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Helloooooooo! I'm back for updates. Like finally. But a short one again): I'm too tired to update.

My clinical attachment at bukit batok polyclinic finally ends. ): I had so much fun thereeeeee:X and I've learn many things there and many things happened. But I enjoyed. HAHA

OH YA! I've watched eclipse today! With Zora:) many kissing scenes though. Hees:P but it's nice! Freaking cold there.

Alright. Got to go. I'm tired. Bye!

Signing off,
Rachel

Clinical Attachment

2010-06-29T19:43:00.002+08:00

It's been longgggggg since I've last updated.

Clinical attachment for these two days were good. I like:X Learnt and observed many things in polyclinic.

Whees~ I'll find one day and updateeee. :X I'm lazyyy

Signing off,
RACHEL

2010-06-14T13:38:00.002+08:00

I'm back for updates & it's a short one. D:

Currently busy with my Singapore Health care system powerpoint. Can anyone help me? HAHA. Kinda lost my own powerpoint. :P Went to PC Show yesterday and bought myself a new digital camera. Little Canon<3 It's not really expensive for a camera but for me, i feel it is. D: Went with Zora and Albert. :D And I saw Jeremy and Gilbert from Astro! They're working there. A short yet fun trip! Hees[: I kinda miss my babes already): Can't wait to see them real soon.

Guess that i should stop here. :X Back to powerpoint. D:

Signing off,
Rachel

L.O.V.E VS L.I.K.E ; School

2010-06-11T21:01:00.004+08:00

Alright! Back for posting. :D

This post might be full of stuff that I or my friends went through. :D So I advise you not to read it. Hees[: Just joking.

Common Test are over! Finally.:X But i got one thing to say, I'm failing every of my module D: . I wan Re-take! LOL. The most confident paper for me is Anatomy but yet! I can't score. Due to the brain of mine. Every time I'm confident in a paper, I'll forget everything. Aww~ But it's fine. I shall try harder! :D

So far, poly life is great! Yea, great. I love my friends<3. Hees[: Yupyup! And know what? Holidays are here! FINALLY. But still I don't think there's time to slack. Going to the St. Luke tomorrow for orientation. Rush out power points for WEEK 16 on Singapore Healthcare System. What other power points are there still for me? D: Forgotten. Homework homework homework. D: Piles and piles.

Alright, I'm starting to go to the topic I want to say now. :X L.O.V.E VS L.I.K.E Yea, not exactly. But I feel hurt to see my friends got so sad over someone. D: Babes, not matter how we are separated, we'll still stay together alright? We'll have one another to depend on, no matter what! <3 At times, I really wonder what those guys are thinking. They claim that they like you to the other friends, and one day, out of no where, they just find excuses and dump you alone. Yea, excuses. Without saying the truth why. What else? They like they like you , act like couple , and yea, told your friends, 'We're only friends.' Please, if you don't like her, please don't send the wrong signal. It just bring hurt to the opposite sex. Thanks so much. You can comment that I might not know the truth and talk crap here, but have you ever think of how much hurt you have brought in the first place.

Finally my talking are done! :D So much of days without updating and I'm talking these here. But I'm very disappointed with them. Yea.

Alright, I'm done for now. :D Shall blog next time, If i'm free :P

Signing off,
Rachel

Consider the consequence.
Looking far ahead of somethings are better than looking at present.
It might bring less pain.

2010-06-04T21:44:00.001+08:00

I'll be back blogging after Common Test :X

Signing off,
Rachel

2010-05-28T11:43:00.003+08:00

Hey! Im back to blog. This time with the use of my itouch. Haha

Im actually studying aap now. Aww~ its still okay i think . Like learning hw to type with this:) hmm. Common test coming! Still not prepared yet): time passes so fast. Its reaching week7 already. Practical exam coming. Lol. Rantings and rantings: P

Yea. Currently thats about it. Need to study now. Bye!

Signing off,
RSEJ<3

i really wish for another true one :(
and oh! I really like what the pas teacher said about the 80% thing :)
Hees:D

2010-05-26T10:13:00.005+08:00

It's been like more than a week since i last blogged. Time files fast isn't it? D: It's week 6 already. 2 more weeks and it's common test. OH god! -.- I haven't study anything. :X My anatomy is so dead.:X JIAYOU~ ]:

Life's been good for me recently, nothing much happen! I'm glad. Hees [: Except that i lost concentration in my studies. O.o I really have nothing to update peeps):

BYE

Signing off,

RSEJ:D

You're finally demoted; one rank down my heart.
I should be glad right? :D

2010-05-18T21:30:00.005+08:00

It's been long since i last updated thus i'm back now. Like finally(:

Headed to Jurong point with classmates today(: Hees:D I had fun. Totally, so long w/o arcade. I miss the place damm lots manzx. HAHA. Caught two toys today & had a very good deal! I scanned the card 2 times at the basketball area there and it didn't work. Of course, complain:X Then the person came with a key and restart the whole thing but still unable to work. Called him again, we changed the machine to 2 of the other ones. Oh! Forgot to mention this: The credits shown on the spoilt one was 9; and we only scanned 2 times! HAHA. Thus, we total played a total of 10 games for basketball. :D TOTALLY FUN! But tiring though. Movie next! We watched 'The back up plan". Was quite funny at the back! :P Rated 3.8/5 But it's a love story luh. More for couples. (:

Thanks for my babes. For being there when i need you all:D

Signing off,

Rachel

Sometimes, i really wish we knew each other earlier

But would it change anything?

Complicated Feelings Week

2010-05-09T13:49:00.003+08:00

Finally, I'm ready for updates. LOL. Tears are enough for me, I'm sure I'll see laughters ahead. Let's try :D

Somehow these days aren't that good for me. Cry until eyes puffy, couldn't really concentrate on classes): But I did for one! Psychology! Cause That's the only thing i liked.(: Yea, seems that things had quieten down a little for now.

Sometimes, i admit that I'm quite sensitive. Sensitive towards many things in life. Friendship especially. I won't want to lose anyone. That's when i start to lose even more. Why? Unsure. I bet at many times, you people would feel lonely right? I'm the same. It's not exactly lonely, it's empty. Unsure how to explain many situations. We all choose to leave the problems within our hearts and not saying it out. That's why when it gets bigger, we break down and all the little problems started to get bigger. Maybe, that's the problem. I'm not sure. If only, friendship had only one temperature. A warm temperature. There are things one should say and not wait for people to understand how the other feels. Life, shouldn't be something that you think its tough. It should be happiness. I'm not in any position to say anything for other people, but instead of thinking something negative, why not think of positive. Don't have high expectations for people , it'll only make you more disappointed. Maybe, I shouldn't even give comments from the start, but i just hope you are able to do well, that's all. I know this line may sound fake but its true: I'm not in your position so I won't know how you feel but as a friend, i really want you to get the best. I really hope you will understand(:

& I really wanna thank those people for cheering and encouraging me. Though i kept quiet for that day, but thanks for making me laugh:D

Signing off,

Rachel

I just hope everything will "Get Well Soon".

Quotes (:

2010-05-04T08:25:00.004+08:00

I've been feeling so moody lately. Yea, not much of talk yesterday. &Only close friends knew what happened.

Alright, One has to give up when it's time. Though it isn't long, but I couldn't reject the feelings from my heart. Instead of holding something impossible, now i'm letting it go. Tolerating those feelings. Although it's difficult, that's the only way we can treat each other as friends. I saw a quote: "Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again". How true it is. Tears doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're ready to see life again, but this time, not repeating the same mistake you have went through. Thus, I've decided to let it go. Yes, i know it isn't me to just give up something I shouldn't have. But after thinking through stuff and much, I won't want to be that stubborn little girl anymore. Stubborn leads to nowhere. It only bring hurt to the people who loved you. Be flexible. But that doesn't mean one will lose their dignity and respect. One could be flexible, but when it's time to hold on something you're right, hold on tight and never let go. Because who knows when you had let go, everything becomes beautiful. :X

Yea, There's more to go. But schooling soon.
Bye

Signing off,
Rachel

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel"
At least I'm starting to be more confident in love again. (:

2010-05-01T23:57:00.002+08:00

I'm simply too tired now. LOL. Currently, not that busy already. That's why I'm able to blog now. I got my lappy to accompany me! :D

Camp isn't really good for me. ): Except water games. Only water games is fun. HAHA. But I'm seriously too tired to enjoy. We sleep like 4AM plus in the morning Today. They'll be sleeping at 5AM tomorrow. HAHA.

I really don't know what to post for the moment. -.- Too tired. ><

Signing off,
Rachel

AOC Day 1

2010-05-01T04:46:00.001+08:00

I'm dead tired now, & i've got nothing much to say):

Games and games. :X
Shall update next time then

Good morning! (:

2010-04-27T11:43:00.000+08:00

Backkkk!

I'm so bored now. No lesson for the next 3 hours. >< SIAN! Brought lots of sweets to school today! O.o Anyone wants? I'm currently at Our Space @ 72 and watching PS MAN. LOL.

LOL. Next lesson is MIC! (: Finally got practical . HAHA. Or else i shall sleep during class. :D

Signing off,
Rachel

Another Day

2010-04-22T19:53:00.002+08:00

YAWN! Seriously, I really feel tired.
HAHA.

School's fine lately, had our fun parts and BORED out parts. We've been learning what? Anatomy, Physiology, Sociology, Nursing Skills and much much more. It's like countless. O.o so that's poly life. Haha. Though i can't wait to learn more?! Haha. Didn't really have time to revise all those. Oh, I've joined the NP Astronomy Club during the CCA Fiesta. O.o

I and Ling chatted quite alot last night! & the contents were like damm funny(: I was laughing non-stop and the bus stop while waiting for bus. O.o Talked about what? ALOT!

I'm bored uh. Talk to meeeeeeeee (: though i'm tired, oops! :D

Signing off,
Rachel

Who am I to you?

♥ School

2010-04-19T16:27:00.003+08:00

Beeps! Back for updates.

I'm seriously tired now. Starting of school = bored of lectures. Yay-ness. But we took pictures today despite of that. O.o Will I survive? LOL. Been sms-ing people now-adays. Must faster apply for Unlimited already. Maybe later? :D TALK to me! I'm bored. ><

Signing off,
Rachel

Orientation Camp. :D

2010-04-16T19:02:00.006+08:00

Hello(:

Don't ask me how I'm feeling now. Cause I'm tired. >< But not that sleepy kind. :P My timetable has changed which pissed me off. It's not one that changes, it's almost everything. Oh god~

Orientation Camp was fun. Just that the organization part for the first day at night isn't that successful, right? We all should end all early, but somehow didn't. That's why everyone was like rushing when bathing. Oops. We all had Countless games.

Oh! I forgotten to state something. I'm in the group name APEP. Cool right? :D SNAKE. :D

Back to subject. Camp was fine overall. Just very tired, but it's not as tired as the GL, GM they all. I suppose they had meeting, debriefing all these after we slept.

Games were fun, but in the way when we're really not tired. I suppose if we all sleep at 12, wake before or at 7am, it might turns out better. But i knew if this happens, we can't really enjoy all games, that's the challenge when it comes to planning.
The only game i enjoyed the most was the 2nd night's game. We were the first to complete the game, as well as save our GL. :X 2.10am. &before 3.30am, slept. Oops. Haha. What else? OH yah, performance before the night game. Haha. I'm sorry to say that I couldn't say anything about that. I was too tired, and i had that "Wake and sleep" during the whole duration. -.-

Last day today was Good. Cheering lots and PICTURES! :D
Yup that's all, I'll update the pictures once I get it!

& I wanted to upload the pictures.
~~WAiting for people to send. ><~~
~~Sending~~
~~UPloading to Facebook.~~

Check the pictures out at my Facebook! :D

Signing off,
Rachel

I didn't knew you hated me in the past.
But things changes after 3-4 years.
I don't know how I'm feeling now.
Why bother about the past? CHEER UP!

Away for Orientation

2010-04-13T20:31:00.000+08:00

I'll be going for ORientation camp From 140410 to 160410 (:
Thus, I won't be updating my blog these few days.

Bye!

RACHEL:D

Induction Day ' 120410 :D

2010-04-12T15:25:00.003+08:00

It's Induction Day @ NP for nursing. :D

I'm dead tired, that the only thing I could say now. Really sleepy and tired. I feel like yawning for so many times! >< Waking up early in the morning at 6AM feels like it the past. Hoho. Headed to Bukit Pangjang LRT around 7 & waited for Thiew Hiao before going to NP. O.o Managed to meet Zora anyway. (: & I had applied for the orientation camp before it was full .Yipee! ((:

Our course isn't only made up of locals, but also from other countries. For example, Malaysia, China and more. :O They came here with scholarship/sponsorship. And had to work here for 6 years. Haha. But their talking of these those made me felt sleepy. Haha. Even though there's much information .

I feel so tired now & I want to sleep. YAWNS~ Oops.

Signing off,
Rachel

2010-04-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

Hello. Back for weekly update.(:

I hadn't got my english tuition on monday. :D It's like... I'm trying to finish my homework till I left my summary, in the end, BMC called Tuition cancelled.

Tuesday was even worse. I broke 2 plates during work and the tip of the of plates broke. There's a piece which drops in the mushroom soup. OH GOD! >< HAd to pay for that pot of mushroom soup which has 2 litres equivalent to $22.40 that is deducted from my pay of April. LOL. But it's fine uh. (: It's only the soup i had to pay. ^^ Just that day of my pay is used for that pot of mushroom soup. :O

Wednesday and Thurday is fine for me. WOrk till night on Wedneseday while 5pm for Thursday. LOL. Due to extension . It's fine(: Delivery at night to NOrth TOwer. I and Auntie Helen starts running back once we manage to deliver the food. Oops. Tired, but fun. :D Granny was admitted to hospital on Thursday, hoped she's fine anyway. :D

Yesterday (Friday!) was my very last day there. Aw~ I'm kind of touched of what they did. At first, Sally said that it's my last day there so they'll bully me. :O But till night they did nothing. Joked as usual there and had food! Pizza from Pizza Hut Delivery and chicken wings:DD LinYing and the reset bought food for farewell night. LOL. Didn't really say much about my thoughts. But I'm really thanks for them. :D They treat me really well (Not to say one or two! :P) HAHA. But at least, i enjoyed my time there! Really thanks<3

Well, today. WHat shall I do now? HEading to granny house later on for dinner. Everyone will be there. EVERYONE. LOL. This means 20 to 30 plus people will be there. O.o Haha. Let's hope everything goes well from now on. (:

& that's all for the day!
Bye

Signing off,
Rachel
Rachel